A solo pleasure - masturbation

A survey I once read said that 94% of teenage boys admitted that they masturbated - and the other 6% were lying. Well, that may be overstating it a bit, but one thing's for sure - we men are born with our penises in our hands, and we make good use of them from that day onwards!

But what of the claim that almost all boys masturbate? Well, one thing seems likely: the vast majority of men have masturbated at some point in their life and the majority of men do it regularly. Many feel guilty about doing so.

So why so much guilt?

For some people it seems like an inferior form of sexual expression - at least when compared to sex with a partner. But this is simply wrong - masturbation is the simplest form of sexual pleasure, and, free of the emotional issues that can surround sex with a partner, it can be an easy and satisfying way of responding to your sexual urge.

Masturbation needs to be celebrated, not allowed to induce guilt. But overcoming the guilt can be difficult - for many men, it was instilled at the hands of their mother, at a very early age, when she told them not to touch themselves "down there". Well, there never was going to be a less effective instruction to a boy than that! But of course the consequence of our mothers' difficulty with our innocent sexuality when we were babies may be that the experience and enjoyment of our own bodies is taken away from us, or we are made to feel ashamed in some way of our maleness and what we can do with it: hardly a good position from which to achieve true emotional health.

The question is, what can men do to feel better about masturbation? One thing's for sure, men will do it, whether or not they feel guilty or bad about it. The answer, then, lies in changing our attitudes so that we can enjoy masturbating, and indeed celebrate it, as an essential part of our maleness.

Perhaps our masturbation becomes more controlled as we get older but it still goes on, even when men have sexual partners. For heterosexual men, masturbation is often secret, and a wife who discovers what her man is doing will fail to understand his need to masturbate, and assume in some way it reflects badly on her. We need to explain that it is a normal part of our experience of maleness, a healthy and rewarding thing to do.

But is it really good for you?

In 1994 Dr Jocelyn Elders lost her job as USA surgeon-general because she dared to say that masturbation should actually be taught. (Why do we have such a repressed attitude? It's almost like saying that we aren't entitled to learn how to obtain pleasure from our bodies). She said, "It's practicing for sex." And so it is: it can help you learn how to control and delay your responsiveness so that pleasure is heightened for both you and your partner when you finally come, and for some men, it is the basis of learning advanced sexual techniques like becoming multi-orgasmic. At the very least it is a pleasurable and enjoyable thing to do, where you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself.

And how often is it done?

How often do men masturbate? It seems that three times a week might be an average in the thirties, and perhaps once or twice a week by age forty. If you are in a sexual relationship you may do it less than this. But, like everything else to do with sex, what is right for you is a personal thing.

How do you masturbate?

 

How many ways to masturbate are there? Well, how many stars are there in the sky? I doubt there was ever a more potent field for man's imagination than the varieties of ways he has come up with to achieve orgasm through masturbation. This website will show you new things that will increase your pleasure, your understanding of your sexuality, and your range of techniques. You really owe it to yourself to have a look. There are illustrations of masturbation techniques, information about the male orgasm, how men ejaculate, semen composition and color, what is normal and what is common, masturbation frequency, Kegel exercises and lots more. There is also information on female masturbation which is well worth a look. In addition, there is a lot of useful information on sexual orientation, mutual masturbation, male anatomy and development, sexual behavior in adolescent men and accounts of personal experiences.

Venus 2000 Machines for men

Here is a high-tech solution to the challenge of achieving the highest possible level of solo sexual pleasure! In short, these are the most sophisticated masturbatory aids ever devised. But they are not just a sex toy. They can teach both men and women to become multi-orgasmic. Of course, they are pretty good if you just want massive orgasms.

Why masturbate?

If you've already tried it, you'll know the answer to this question! As well as feeling good, masturbation relieves sexual tension which builds up naturally over time. Every man and boy in adolescence sometimes feels aroused or turned on, and sexual thoughts and desires seem to take over your mind! This is a natural process: your sexual organs produce and accumulate semen, and your body responds by wanting to ejaculate the semen in order to make room for more. One of the ways this happens is by nocturnal emissions or wet dreams, which happen when you are asleep.

In spite of what you might have heard (either from friends or adults) masturbation is completely safe. It does not affect the size of your penis nor your ability to have an erection, or to have children later in life. And you never run out of semen, either!

The age of initiation

If you can read this, you are old enough to masturbate! However, you could be too young to ejaculate. Most boys begin to ejaculate semen between 12 and 15, although for some it's earlier or later. You can masturbate and even have orgasms without being old enough to ejaculate. But for most men, orgasms feel better when accompanied by the ejaculation of semen.

Can masturbation be physically harmful?

Absolutely not! In the past, it was common to hear stories that masturbation would make you blind, mad, make the palms of your hands hairy, etc. However, even in those days, masturbation was an extremely common practice. All those beliefs are totally untrue, although strange rumors sometimes persist even today. If all these tales were true, the world would be full of blind, mad men with hairy hands! Masturbation is something that almost every man enjoys, and it's not harmful in any way.

See: Male Masturbation

        Female Masturbation

If I masturbate, am I a loser?

Definitely not! You have probably heard someone called a 'wanker' as an insult, or heard someone say that he doesn't have to masturbate because he has plenty of 'real' sex. This is a load of rubbish! In cases like this, the person doing the talking masturbates, feels guilty about it, and then insults others so that the guilt is transferred to them. This is a vicious circle which results in everyone feeling guilty about this wonderful thing which our bodies are capable of. The way out of this vicious circle is to remember that virtually everyone masturbates, including the grown men who boast of having all the real sex they want! When you can say you masturbate and you are proud of the fact (even if you only tell yourself) then you will come to realize that the only losers are those who lie about it!

Can I masturbate too much?

In the first few years after they discover masturbation, most boys do it much more often than they will in later life. It is not unusual for a boy of 13 or 14 years old to masturbate 3 or 4 times in a day. It's not surprising, therefore, that some boys worry they might be doing it too much. Of course, it's possible that time spent masturbating could be used for more productive activities, but if you're only going to use the extra time for watching television or similar, then don't worry about it. Just enjoy it and you will probably find that in a few years you'll lose the habit.

How much is normal ?

There is no normal frequency of masturbation, you can masturbate whenever you like. The worst that can happen is that your penis may become a bit sore or over-sensitive (rub some other part of your body in the same way and you will find the same thing). In any group of adolescents, some will masturbate several times a day, others once a day and some only once or twice a week. There are also a few people who don't do it at all, either because they don't feel the urge or because they've been told it's bad and manage to control the desire to do it.

Some masturbation techniques

Many boys discover masturbation by accident, when they are rubbing their penis and feel something so good that they have just continue until they have an orgasm. But there are many methods for making it more pleasurable.

There will be times when you have a strong desire to masturbate but it's not convenient to do so. In this case you can ejaculate as quickly as possible, perhaps in the bathroom. This is fine - but you should know that masturbation, just like sex between two people, is much more pleasurable when you can relax and take your time.

Some guys masturbate lying face down and rubbing their penis against the bed. One very common technique is to lie on your back and rub or massage your penis with your hand. In this position, when you ejaculate the semen will end up on your chest or stomach, which is easier to clean up. (You will probably want to get up and take off your night-clothes or T shirt, so that the semen won't wet them, and keep a tissue handy to clean yourself afterwards.)

Every successful masturbation session starts with an erection, which happens when your penis fills with blood until it is hard and you can play with it with your hand. Getting an erection is usually easy, either through thinking erotic thoughts or by manual stimulation. If you are young, or have not ejaculated for some time, you probably don't have to do much to get an erection!

Once your penis has reached its maximum length and hardness, hold it and rub it along the entire length, keeping a constant rhythm. This simulates the feeling of moving your penis to and fro inside a woman's vagina, which is what happens during sexual intercourse.

There are many ways of stimulating the penis which you can try. These are just starting points: it's important to practice your own variations, so that you find the techniques which give you most pleasure.

Basic method

For this common technique, simply wrap your fingers around your penis and move them up and down. This allows maximum contact between your hand and your penis - and more contact means more pleasure. This is a very good method if you have a long penis. If your penis isn't longer than your fist you won't be able to make long movements, and another method might be better.

Five fingers

For this technique, your hand and arm are at an angle to your penis, with 4 fingers diagonally on top of the penis and your thumb underneath. This allows you to control the amount of contact between your hand and penis, and allows you to move your hand the whole length of the penis, even if it isn't very big.

Three fingers

This method is good if you have a small penis. Support the penis as if you were holding a pencil. This technique allows you maximum control and distance of movement (from the base of the penis to the head), but contact between the hand and the penis is less than with other hand positions.

The back-hander

This technique (much like the basic method but with the hand facing the other way) looks a bit odd but it feels very good. It is a little complicated at first, but it's an excellent position when you want to try something different for a few minutes.

Lubrication

Some guys like to masturbate using some kind of lubrication between their hand and their penis, while others don't bother. One factor to consider is whether your penis is circumcised or not. If you're not circumcised, you will have skin on your penis which you can move backwards and forwards along its whole length, so you can simply grasp the penis firmly and move the skin to and fro. This will make the foreskin move to and fro across the head of the penis, producing wonderful sensations. However, even some circumcised men prefer to use a little lubrication between the head of the penis and the foreskin.

If you have been circumcised, you can masturbate dry or wet. For the dry method, hold the penis firmly and make most of the movements on the upper part of the skin, or hold lightly and slide your fingers across the whole surface of the penis. The disadvantage of the latter method is that the penis may become over-sensitive or sore, so that you cannot enjoy it fully.

A common form of lubrication is to use saliva, but for good lubrication you do need a lot and not everyone produces enough. Another method - not recommended! - is to masturbate in the bath or shower using soap or shampoo. Although this can feel very good, it has its disadvantages. Shampoo or soap can irritate the skin when applied with friction, and can make the skin dry out which sometimes makes it peel for a few days. It can also sting if it gets into the opening at the end of the penis. Therefore, soap or shampoo are not recommended as lubricants.

Alternatively, baby oil works too, but has the same problem in terms of cleaning. Hand cream is very popular and works well: it cleans off fairly easily, it's nice and slippery, it lasts well and you can go as fast as you like.

There are also a lot of water-based lubrication products such as Astroglide, Probe or other lubricants which you can buy in chemists or supermarkets. These personal lubricants have the right consistency for great masturbation using any method or speed, and they clean off easily with a towel.

How fast can I go? How tightly can I hold it?

As hard and as fast as you like! We are all different. Some like to go slowly, others like to go very fast; some like to hold the penis lightly and others very tightly. You might decide that you like to start slowly and gently, and then grasp more tightly as you speed up - or you might find the opposite!

Before ejaculating

As you are masturbating, the sensation of pleasure will begin to intensify. Keep going, but if you want to experience maximum pleasure don't let things happen too quickly. To prolong your pleasure, you can stop for a minute and give your penis (and your arm) a rest. As well as being fun, this is a very good exercise for later on: you will be a better lover if you can hold back your ejaculation so as to give your partner more pleasure. It will also help you get to know how your body feels when you are approaching orgasm.

Ejaculation

If you are doing it well, there will come a point when you begin to feel an incredible tension, energy or heat in your pelvis which becomes increasingly intense. It might feel as if you are going to urinate, but don't worry, this is just the feeling of the semen entering the urethra (the tube which runs inside the penis). Don't stop! Keep holding and stroking and just enjoy the sensation. Once ejaculation starts, holding back at the wrong moment can be rather uncomfortable. If the pleasure starts to get a bit too intense, go more slowly or more gently.

When you reach the moment just before ejaculation, the muscles of your body begin to harden, the expression on your face will probably change, and at that moment there will be a series of contractions in your pelvic muscles. At the same time, you will feel a tingling and trembling throughout your body. You might cry out or moan involuntarily. A teaspoonful or two of semen (white or yellowish fluid) will come out of your penis. It might just drip out, but if you are 14 or older it could shoot out with more force, sometimes 30 centimeters. From 3 to 8 spurts will happen quickly, but don't worry - you will feel better than ever before! After 5 or 10 seconds, semen will stop flowing and you will come back to earth! Your penis will probably become very sensitive, so that you won't want to go on rubbing it, and soon you will feel less aroused.

Afterwards

You will probably want to clean up the semen. Just wipe it with a paper tissue or toilet paper; you might not want to use a towel because it will have to be washed and that could be embarrassing.

You can also swallow your semen. That may sound disgusting or it may sound exciting, but you can do it - it is perfectly safe. However, don't swallow anyone else's semen because it can transmit diseases, including HIV.

After a man ejaculates, he usually loses his erection and for a short time is not interested in getting excited again. In fact, he may not be able to get another erection for a while. However, young men can often start again in a few minutes, or even straight away.


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